"I am a bad patient."
We all know someone who uses that line whenever some period of illness falls upon them. Heck it may even be you, yourself reading these words. Of course there are many variants on the theme of 'bad patient', but given a recent spat of illness I have been working through, let me share with you what I mean when I use it.
I have had the opportunity to consider what the term means when I apply it to myself and how I have been raised in an environment where my value as a person has become twisted up with my visible productivity or masculinity.
I have hate.
I have to acknowledge that as readily and honestly as every other emotion I possess and are subject to. It’s important to openly accept that it is an emotional state that I inhabit at times. To do any less would be to disregard its power and impact upon me and the life which I choose to lead. Ignoring or suppressing any emotion doesn’t stop it from existing within. It just blinds us to its influence upon our thoughts words and deeds. In that crafted ignorance of self we can do more harm to ourselves and others than we would ever conceive of consciously. So I say it to you here, I have hate, so that you may witness me and be aware of my accountability to the management of my emotions.
We all have thoughts and perspectives and opinions. Its simply part of the human condition as a socialized species. So In the interest of insight, this is where I will share my perspective and opinions.